Why I'd rather not watch..

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that right now Casey Anthony is on trial for the murder of her 2 year old daughter Caylee. Pretty much everyone in Central Florida is tuned in via the tv, internet, phone (yes you can receive updates via text), or facebook (because everyone is updating their statuses about it). And of course mostly everyone has an opinion. And pretty much unianimously, it's not a good one about Casey or her family.

However. Today at the grocery store the cashier and a fellow patron were discussing it and explained she was in a hurry to go home and watch Casey's father take the stand today. She turned and looked at me as I fumbled to pick up Jackson dropped snack trap of goldfish and asked, "Are you into watching the trial?"

Let me preface this with saying I am NOT complaining about those who watch it. If you want to watch it, go ahead. But this is why I refuse to, and don't watch it.

It's heartbreaking, heartwrenching, and leaves me sick to my stomach. For awhile I had zero opinion of whether Casey did it or not. Although some people thought I was looney for saying that, the idea of a mother doing harm to her child is absolutely inconceivable to me and I couldn't fathom a 2 year old's life being brought to an end by her source of life...her mom. I don't know the facts, and thankfully I don't have to.

So when the trial began to air on TV and people began posting about it, arguing about it, talking about it, and tuning in to watch it like it was the latest episode of American Idol or Survior I decided I couldn't. I couldn't watch a family rip apart at the seams. I couldn't watch a father and mother fall apart over the death of their grand-daughter and the loss of their own daughter's freedom. I couldn't watch a mother, who is obviously very diluted, fry in her seat while onlookers pour more gasoline on her in hopes they may be the ones to watch her burn alive. The lies, the confusion, and the plain raw painful emotion of a precious little life lost makes me ill.

I hope there is justice for little Caylee Anthony. But more than justice, I hope people look at the little sweet girl for who she was, and don't remember her by the cluster of mud that this entire circus has become.